Sex Therapy London

It’s not about how much sex someone is having - it’s about the relationship they have with sex. Sexual behaviour can become problematic when it begins to negatively impact important areas of your life, such as your relationships, work, physical health, or mental and emotional wellbeing.

Like other compulsions, problematic sexual behaviours often arise when sex is used to manage emotional discomfort -such as pain, stress, boredom, or past trauma. It’s less about the frequency or type of sexual activity and more about whether you feel in control, whether it’s aligned with your values, and if it’s having unintended consequences.

How do I know if my sexual behaviour is a problem?

Everyone’s relationship with sex is different. What feels healthy and satisfying for one person might feel overwhelming or distressing for another. For example, you could be having sex with multiple partners on a weekend and feel happy, empowered, and in control - that’s not necessarily a problem. But if you’re doing the same thing and feel ashamed, conflicted, or find that it’s harming other parts of your life, it may be a sign that your relationship with sex is no longer working for you.

There is no universal threshold for “too much” sex. The real question is: Is it compulsive? Does it feel like a choice? Is it aligned with your values and goals? If not, it might be time to examine your behaviours.

Signs that your sexual behaviour may be problematic

Here are some key signs:

I can’t stop thinking about sex—does that mean I have a problem?

It’s normal to think about sex. But if it becomes intrusive, compulsive or disruptive to your daily functioning then it is worth exploring. Rather than focusing on the behaviour itself, sex therapy at Sona Psychology helps explore why it feels so important to engage with sex in this way. Questions we might reflect on include: What role is sex playing in your life right now? What would happen if you didn’t engage in sex in this way? What function does sex serve in my life?

Is this a real problem?

At Sona Psychology, we take a pragmatic view: If you feel out of control and are suffering because of your sexual behaviours, then that is real, and we’re here to help. You don’t need to fit a specific label for your experience to matter.

We support people who identify with compulsive sexual behaviours, while also being sex-positive. Being highly sexually active is not in itself a problem. What does matter is the context, the control, and the consequences.

What happens in sex therapy?

Therapy starts by helping you understand what’s driving your sexual behaviour. We explore the emotional, psychological, and situational patterns that may be impacting your relationship with sex. We want to comprehend what function sex is serving in your life. We are not here to label or judge you but to listen and work with you.

Together, we will redefine your relationship with sex and build a relationship with sex that feels intentional, healthy, and aligned with your values - not someone else’s expectations. 

If your behaviour no longer serves you, you can change it. If it does still serve you and does not hurt others or yourself, then there may be no need to change it at all. This is about understanding your needs, not meeting someone else’s expectations.

How do I get support?

If you are reading this far, it might be a sign that something doesn’t feel quite right. Therapy isn’t just for people in crisis - it’s also for those who are simply curious, uncertain or seeking clarity.

If your sexual behaviour is making you feel confused, distressed, or stuck, we’re here to offer a safe, confidential space to explore it with compassion and without judgment. You don’t have to face it alone.

Reach out for a free 15-minute consultation→ to discuss how therapy can support you.